Thursday, July 15, 2010

New Life

Since Sunday, when Amelia died, I've been preparing for what is yet to come.

My life is tattered and ruined. Everything I have ever loved has been taken from me. I'm not going to let this continue. I refuse to let this monster continue his reign of terror. He should never be allowed to do this again. So, I've been planning, studying, preparing. I have nothing left to lose, and I've decided to go down fighting.

I've done research on split personalities. I wanted to make absolutely certain that my theory about being TheArsonist was true. I have begun meditating in an attempt to get in touch with that side of me.

And it has worked. I remember writing those messages, creating that recording, leaving all those clues... We're one, TheArsonist and I. If you need proof, I'll write something on Watch This City Burn. I remember what my alternate set the password as. I remember nearly everything...

But with every answered question come a legion of others that beg to be solved. The following are what I'm focusing on right now, and I believe they may be the key to gaining revenge on the abomination that stole my life from me.

When did I first become TheArsonist, and why?

It seems logical that it was with Ted's death and the hacking of Watch This City Burn. However, logic doesn't have meaning to me anymore. I'm currently attempting to dig deeper into that part of my psyche, but I can't seem to find anything...

Why did my personality split? While I can remember things I did as TheArsonist, I can't recall any meaning to my actions. My motivations are a haze, and I get a concentration-breaking migraine every time I try to break through it. Hopefully, I'll be strong enough to fully reintegrate that side of my mind. For now, I'm struggling to understand why it happened.

Why does TheArsonist speak in Death as though he has fought Slender Man before?

The answer to this appears simple: If TheArsonist has fought him before, that means I have and don't remember it. Is it really that easy? How does that affect what I should do next? Is there a possibility I am missing?

How did TheArsonist know that Emily and Vincent would die?

This is the biggest question of all, and I still have no answer for it.


If you believe you have any theories about the above, let me know. It's clear to me now that my mind isn't in the best state, so having outside help could let me see something I've missed.

For now, I'm going to continue gathering supplies. I have some money saved for emergencies. This is one. I also have money that was supposed to pay for school tuition this fall. I doubt that I'll be attending, so that's more funds I can access. I'm not quite sure what my next move will be. I'll be sure to keep you all informed. Thank you for everything you all have done. As sad as it is, you're all I have left...

4 comments:

  1. Well if we're all you have left, facebook me, haha.
    Anyway you REALLY, REALLY, REALLLLYYYYY should go to http://openthedoorandyouwillfindme.blogspot.com/

    There is a man who is after Slenderman.
    He is on the very, VERY same step as you.

    As far as memory goes, Slenderman has had a tendency to erase the memories of those who find him, save for camera footage.

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  2. I'm going to keep checking back with you to see if you've said anything.
    JS. :)

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  3. TheArsonist is the part of you that's fighting back from being hollowed out by Slenderman. Slenderman takes people over, makes them do things he can't do, and was probably trying to do this to you. Usually this either works or doesn't, and people become only that hollowed out part of them, or stay basically the same. I've heard you have some mental disorders and were taking pills for them. What were they? Maybe that's the key. Maybe you're reacting differently to Slenderman because of whatever it is you have. Either way I have only 2 pieces of advice for you: 1. Get moving. I know you want to stay in your house, but He knows where you are and can get to you easier because of that. And 2. get in touch with TheArsonist. This may be something you can use to defeat him. I've never heard of anybody with mental illness (severe or not) that has fought him, maybe it can help.

    Stay strong, dude. You can beat this.

    - M

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  4. These comments aren't being...monitored, are they? I see my words outside on the pavement sometimes.

    My words.

    The pavement.

    Sometimes.

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