Sunday, July 18, 2010

I've spent the past few days at funerals. Eve and Vincent's was last Friday, Amelia's earlier today. It rained both days, like I'm living in a bad movie. It feel as though my heart has been ripped out of my chest, replaced by nothing but boiling, malevolent rage. I nearly throttled a family friend of Amelia's when he walked in the door at his funeral. He looked so much like... like him: Tall, bald, business suit...

When I haven't been burying the people I've loved that have died, I've been trying to get assimilate, or at least get back in touch with, my split psyche. Other than that, I spent time researching Slender Man on the web. In response to this bit in a comment...

Cinderblock said...

Well if we're all you have left, facebook me, haha.
Anyway you REALLY, REALLY, REALLLLYYYYY should go to

There is a man who is after Slenderman.
He is on the very, VERY same step as you.

I actually followed Strahm prior to everything that's happened in my life. I thought it was a story. I still kind of see it that way. However, fact or fiction, his July 9th post is full of useful information. I may or may not get in touch. For now, I want to do this alone...

The other site that's been a lot of use is The Tutorial. I'm not sure how much use M's facts are to me since Slender Man seems to be different things for different people (Perhaps, as a being quite likely created by our own minds, he adapts to each individual's psyche? Just as he was thought into existence, he uses our thoughts to evolve into a different hunter for each type of prey?), but it's still good to know there's someone out there looking out for people like me.

M said...

TheArsonist is the part of you that's fighting back from being hollowed out by Slenderman. Slenderman takes people over, makes them do things he can't do, and was probably trying to do this to you. Usually this either works or doesn't, and people become only that hollowed out part of them, or stay basically the same. I've heard you have some mental disorders and were taking pills for them. What were they? Maybe that's the key. Maybe you're reacting differently to Slenderman because of whatever it is you have.

This is actually something I've been considering myself. It certainly ties into what I... he... it said in Death about fighting Slender Man, like it was an internal war, but TheArsonist said he lost and that I would become "like him". I'm not ready to say I'm sure that's what my disassociated personality is, but it's a leading theory I have.

I used to try and hide my mental disorders, but it's kind of too late for that now. I've only been "officially" diagnosed or psych eval'd with depression, moderate paranoia, and some issues with repressed anger and lashing out. My family history, however, is filled with other problems.

My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic, and psychotic. She killed my dad in one of her rages when I was ten. One minute I'm playing outside with Emily and Ted, the next I hear a scream, and then I see Mama stumbling outside, blood down her skirt, knife in her hand, begging me to hug her.

I never want to be like her.

M said...
Either way I have only 2 pieces of advice for you: 1. Get moving. I know you want to stay in your house, but He knows where you are and can get to you easier because of that. And 2. get in touch with TheArsonist. This may be something you can use to defeat him. I've never heard of anybody with mental illness (severe or not) that has fought him, maybe it can help.

I've actually never seen him near my home. In fact, I've never seen him at all. There was one false alarm, the last time I ever saw Em and Vince alive, but it turned out to be a normal guy. It's... strange. I am planning on getting moving soon. Going to live out of my car awhile. See how well the bastard does then...

And, as I've said, I've been working on TheArsonist, but he's a blank slate after that first realization he's me and "seeing" myself doing all he did. Maybe I'm doing something wrong...

Gonna get some rest. Tomorrow's a big day. Zeke Strahm put forward a theory that Slender Man attacks adults who escaped him as kids. Most of my things from childhood are in a storage facility an hour or so away from here. Perhaps there's a picture or... something. I'll let you know what I find.


  1. "One minute I'm playing outside with Emily and Ted, the next I hear a scream, and then I see Mama stumbling outside, blood down her skirt, knife in her hand, begging me to hug her."

    ^ that's why emily was eve, and you DEFINITELY escaped him in your childhood, the proof is that TheArsonist called ted adam and emily eve. TheArsonist isn't just the recent repressed memories, he's also your memories from when you met SM the first time.

    it's the only way he could know that Emily was going to die next...

    I doubt this has anything to do with your mother but... the juxtaposition is... suspicious, to say the least.

  2. Damien, be careful. Stay up high and away from the trees!!! Keep us updated.

  3. Be careful with whatever you do. Going back to those places maybe a good idea, but you still have to keep your eyes open. If you need anythng shoot me an email.

    Also even though you haven't ever seen Slenderman, I'm sure he's seen you and that TheArsonist has seen him. He knows where you are, that's how he knew who the people were who were close to you and who to kill. I still think it's best to keep moving, even if you have some things to take care of beforehand.

  4. Leaving the house is a good idea. Don't know about trees. Things are everywhere.

    All this stuff seems to be connected to houses and places of residence. Only seen one case of moving not being enough.

    Bring as little as possible with you, especially cameras.

  5. Can Slender read? If so then he might be reading this blog, and be able to tell what your car looks like, if he can, and i'm sure he can, then that spells trouble in the worst ways.

  6. Darkblade, Slendy can't read. He has no eyes.

    1. Well, he was born as a net meme... It's always possible he lives within the net. :/ Like, a tall, faceless, web version of Ringu. O_O