Monday, August 2, 2010


I've chosen. A lot of you seem to agree that going to the mental institution to visit my mother is the safer of the two choices, and I have to agree with you. Even though I hate that woman, hate that she is literally in my blood, I need firsthand answers about what the hell was happening on that tape.

I just called and made the appointment to visit - 3:00 p.m. on Wednesday. Until then, I need to get my head on straight. I might only get one shot at this, and I don't need my mother getting under my skin. I need to ask the right questions in the right order in the right way so she doesn't shut down and shut me out. Push to hard, she starts screaming and has to be taken away and sedated; Push to lightly, I don't get any of the answers I need before going to that building in my drawing.

Thanks to all of you who have stuck by me through all of this, and thanks to those of you who are just now stumbling upon the twisted wreck my life has become. It's... good to know that I'm not alone after my world was ripped away from me.

I'll let you all know how it goes on Wednesday...


  1. I'm with you. Get answers from the bitch.

  2. I'm no expert on mental illness, though I've had my own run-ins with my own problems and other people's, but I'd say you'll have to be careful not to trigger some sort of episode. If the stuff in that video disturbed you, it'll likely have an even more intense effect on her to remember it.
    By all means ask, but ask tactically.

  3. I finally caught up with your blog, and I thought I'd mention that "exilis" means "slender" in Latin. I actually posted that sometime in July so I still remember and thought it'd help.

    1. It literally translates from exilis everto to small demons. But if you are right, it means slender demon

  4. Airplane to Boston arrives in 10 minutes.